the edges of myself

words, words, words

sun-drenched and wind-kissed

mandytigre

6 comments

June 20, 2013

my sweet love

you know i pine for you like no other–

long to feel your touch– as a

gentle wind or the warmth of the sun.

the easy, eyes-closed satisfaction

that is perfectly familiar

yet feels new and entirely consuming

upon each experience.

 

i no longer acknowledge the difference

between laughter and tears–

the two bleed so easily–

one to the other–

and both,

when thinking of you,

are rooted in the purest joy.

 

the undeniable certainty you allow me–

of myself

of my journey

is a continuous blessing–

one that never ceases,

like waves

pounding the shore.

 

my love,

i pine for you

and yet understand

the careful distance you’ve

placed between us.

Its palpable measure

a testament

to your clarity and devotion

which is piercing and pure.

 

i will feed myself and no other

though if i could

i would consume you.

i know i cannot–

will not.

 

please remember

and know

you never have to wonder:

i would always

rather be with you,

sun-drenched and wind-kissed.

you know

i pine for you.

the fabric of our family

mandytigre

2 comments

June 16, 2013

from the very beginning– you’ve shown me

the steadfast path– gardens and greenery,

selling strawberries by the side of the road

 

i looked to you for all things– the

even, steady hand willfully moving forward

a shining example of what i could become

 

always taking careful time with me– your

pride in my accomplishments shining through

your sparkling eyes and gentle nod.

 

the day i left you– packed my life into a

little red car and turned away from childhood–

my heart began to rip– before it realized

 

it could stretch– across the thousands

of miles of space i placed between us–

across the worlds of difference between me and you.

 

each twisted turn i’ve taken along this path

you have constantly been behind me– an enduring

source of encouragement and support– unquestioned.

 

as time continues– my children grow– your

children grown, so too does the love that has

always been unconditionally granted–

 

you will always be my dad– and i’m forever

your little girl.  no measure of distance

or time can alter the fabric of our family.

the hard, cold shape

mandytigre

2 comments

June 16, 2013

all of the songs ever written– they don’t speak

of a love like ours– at the base

its unquestioned solidity– a dependable knowledge

of what is–

certain beyond a doubt–

nothing meaningless is possible.

i revel in it– enjoy its eb and flow

make time and space

for it to exist

 

but my heart–

it feels the edges of this glass jar–

sees easily outside of it– but presses against the hard,

cold shape it’s been forced into–

each beat feeling slightly more oppressive

than the one before.

it yearns to allow an expanse and freedom

to spread through it and around it–

stretch its wings, soar.

 

there are times i believe this exercise

in self control is good–

and i know it is allowing for

possibilities

that could not exist without it–

but at others i find myself questioning

my strength and resolve.

 

i do not for a moment doubt our love–

only my ability to play this role within it.

i’m not sure i’m big enough

and my heart cannot handle the confinement.

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