the edges of myself

words, words, words

Two weeks ago I returned from ten amazing days in Costa Rica. It was my honeymoon. And while I was clearly accompanied by my husband, we also had two other adventurers along; our kids. Perhaps most people don’t bring their kids with them on their honeymoon– but I believe I have proven time and time …

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Yesterday was day five of my self-imposed television liberation– and I’m not gonna lie, it was tough. I did have thoughts of just turning on the damn tv. But I restrained myself. I fought through the temptation to wither and collapse at the feet of my mighty electronic master. I emerged at the end of …

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my smile, a long-lost friend who i hadn’t realized departed, slowly backed out the door years ago, almost imperceptively. she’s beginning to reemerge along with the rest of me. i see her reflected back at me in mirrors and photographs– recognizing the joy that flows from behind her– feeling safe enough to show herself. regaining …

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I’ve closed my heart before locked it tightly– buried the key beneath layers of shoulds and coulds and woulds   I’ve watched myself walk away treading carefully, moving backwards longing for an explanation some semblance of the truth   I’ve understood the sting of rejection– internalized its pointy edges, embracing their lessons along with the …

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i love it when you call me baby   it breaks my heart wide open and spills it on the ground and wraps me up in an understanding that needs nothing more than your silent smile and gentle, responsive hands   i love it when behind your eyes i see the sparkle of your boy– …

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Today you brought me soup. It was perfect, although its precision had nothing to do with the gift and everything– with the giver. Stretched out across a lazy afternoon, fingers running along the lines of your face– through your hair. my honey-coated throat– happier with you here. The sunshine poking its rays through my window …

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Revealing myself fully– pulling back the curtain– surreptitiously pulled tight so many years ago– the reasons scattered around amidst the dust bunnies and dead flies. here i am. this is me. a little silly, perhaps.  and maybe overzealous at times– but who could have it any other way? I wonder is it who we are– …

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I’ve been moving through a lot of late.  The thing I notice about myself most notably is just how quickly I seem to be processing things these days.  What took me 12+ years just a couple of  years ago is now taking weeks, days, or sometimes just hours.  Some people might find it hard to …

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