I woke up around 2 in the morning on January 7, 2003 with anticipation and excitement at the prospect of finally meeting my first child. I was already twelve days past my “due date” and truly bursting with child. My body, carrying at least an extra fifty pounds, was behemoth. The skin of my torso …
I found this photograph a couple of days ago in a drawer by the side of my bed. It’s my sweet little baby girl, about two months before her 2nd birthday. (Right now she’s less than a month from her seventh birthday). This photo was taken in Oakland, CA at my best friend’s home sometime …
yesterday i peeled away a layer one that had long concealed my vulnerability. Underneath that film– i found a need to prove myself. a deep and darkened shame, a tortured, broken structure that believed in itself to the point of actualization. As i walked around the landscape of my deeply held beliefs, turned concrete, …
We are all the greatest– each of us the BEST at this job we never applied for– and from which we will never be fired– the benefits being intangible and showing themselves in the most unlikely moment– an unprompted thank you or please– a concern born from a devotion that is normally tossed under the …
It’s your birthday today a day to celebrate your open-hearted kindness, tumbling laughter and giving smile. I remember the day I first understood the madness of motherhood– knew the intensity of frustration and loss of control. And the day it hit me– like a thousand waves crashing against the shore– the immensity of …
motherhood unfathomable, incessant taxing, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching couldn’t make another choice devotion
I’ve been moving through a lot of late. The thing I notice about myself most notably is just how quickly I seem to be processing things these days. What took me 12+ years just a couple of years ago is now taking weeks, days, or sometimes just hours. Some people might find it hard to …
my first born baby you always will be the one who ushered me into this space a clearer, confident identity able to move through the world and keep pace with those who previously hadn’t seen the shy and shrinking girl, now carrying your dynamic beauty along with me the brightness of your eyes and smile …
My kids left me for six days just two short weeks ago. As I sit here I find myself checking and double checking that time-frame because it seems so ludicrously impossible that so much has happened in the short span of two weeks, but so be it. It has. I had final closure with …
your blue and green eyes with a dot of gold keenly aware of worlds beyond your grasp conquering fears too large for you to hold protection from them you dare not need ask a simple beauty bound by innocence and silly, wiggly, sparkling energy leaves not a single person on the fence their feelings for …
the edges of myself 