yesterday i peeled away a layer
one that had long concealed my vulnerability.
Underneath that film– i found a need to prove myself.
a deep and darkened shame,
a tortured, broken structure that believed
in itself to the point of actualization.
As i walked around the landscape
of my deeply held beliefs, turned concrete,
listened to what they whispered in the
darkness, amidst the sobs and whimpers,
i realized they only wanted light– needed
but a voice–
to see them.
my empathy– to tell myself i’ve done
there was no failure.
i did a good job.
i’m doing a good job–
stretching myself past the things i’ve
told myself are true.
Constantly molding and remolding my structures
to perfection– their fluid lines and
curving shapes releasing the fear they held
of unborn babes being stopped short–
confusion at the hurdle when ease was
a slippery slide into the world.
the determination and will these hurdles
allow cannot be quantified.
It will propel my children forward
through their singing, dancing, laughing lives
with the unconscious understanding
that there is always a way through.
6 thoughts on “where there’s a will…”
Your writing is really breathtaking. I find free verse a difficult medium for me, but you make it seem so effortless…it is truly such a pleasure to read your writing, I get shivers. 🙂
thank you so much– free verse for me is generally just an allowance of my thoughts to come tumbling out. writing is such a means of processing for me– i spew it all out on to the page and then shape it as i type it out. and just like you, i’m continuously editing– going back and making small changes. what i love most about your writing is how it hits me– it always has an impact.
But not everyone’s tumbling thoughts are as well organized and coherent as yours, even after the editing process. I feel the same way about your writing…my eyes get wider as I continue reading until they’re practically popping out of my head. 🙂
awwww– shucks. thank you. 😉
I’m actually having trouble expressing how wonderful this is. So good just doesn’t cover it! My goodness… 🙂
thank you so much, Devan. Your support means worlds. 😉