i couldn’t handle causing your heart grief or pain you are too precious.
i couldn’t handle causing your heart grief or pain you are too precious.
yesterday i peeled away a layer one that had long concealed my vulnerability. Underneath that film– i found a need to prove myself. a deep and darkened shame, a tortured, broken structure that believed in itself to the point of actualization. As i walked around the landscape of my deeply held beliefs, turned concrete, …
totally overwhelmed by the magnitude of my feelings– having created clear and careful boundaries– FINALLY. though i feel the weight of them pressing down upon my heart. walking through the motions– one foot in front of the other– a handshake and smile– the playful game of humanity– when no face is yours and none can compare. …
my heart hurts sometimes acknowledging growth is not without discomfort
I think it’s important I be up front about this now– before we traverse this path any further and then you look back at me incredulously and say– “hey, you could’ve warned a brother,”– so here’s your warning: I am a fiery bitch. Sure, I can be sweet and tender– and I’ve tapped into loving …
this is for me. a necessary part of my process this singular narration a weaving of words to give birth to these feelings welling within– unnecessarily contained. The worlds of trust you are teaching with your reticence and fear are miraculous– though not without bruises and bumps– sometimes maybe even a little blood. i know …
i cannot compete with a ghost her hold upon your heart– gut wrenchingly precise. keeping you folded– a neatly stacked pile of protection, save those tiny glimpses of trust. Nor can i measure against a sweet babe, her newness and discovery perfectly prescribed for your carefully crafted vision of lonely. My arms cannot extend past …
We are helping to heal each other you and i traversing this stretch of time, an unwieldy highway, hand in hand. Watching the layers peel away feeling lighter with each small forward step increasingly aware of the young boy peering out from underneath the years of practiced pain– contained because you knew no other way. …
I never read the rules for mothering it seems I was absent that day perhaps all of us were. Carrying around the textbook burden of guilt, the weight of which mocks our shortcomings and reveals the all-too constant truth that we’re just winging it. Each new day, another brave face– scooping up the pieces …
I just spent the last four weeks in the midst of a beautiful, miraculous long-distance love affair with a man I love deeply, an old friend from high school. It was completely unexpected and nothing that I was even remotely looking for– but it was absolutely perfect, right down to the part where he said “I …
the edges of myself 