the edges of myself

words, words, words

a gentle sigh, an allowance, releasing that which has held a clutching grip for longer than i can possibly fathom– the simplicity of breathing in and out, finding my breath in full– allowing the grief that i didn’t know existed to flow gently down my cheeks– making tracks through the garden dust and grime.   …

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i remembered you yesterday the boy with a smile he couldn’t hide– the childish innocence running through the lines of your face.   like uncovering an old box of records, full of songs you’d forgotten existed– but to which you know all the words.   i remembered falling softly with you– into arms that seemed they’d never …

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I’ve closed my heart before locked it tightly– buried the key beneath layers of shoulds and coulds and woulds   I’ve watched myself walk away treading carefully, moving backwards longing for an explanation some semblance of the truth   I’ve understood the sting of rejection– internalized its pointy edges, embracing their lessons along with the …

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I’ve been moving through a lot of late.  The thing I notice about myself most notably is just how quickly I seem to be processing things these days.  What took me 12+ years just a couple of  years ago is now taking weeks, days, or sometimes just hours.  Some people might find it hard to …

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My kids left me for six days just two short weeks ago.  As I sit here I find myself checking and double checking that time-frame because it seems so ludicrously impossible that so much has happened in the short span of two weeks, but so be it.  It has.   I had final closure with …

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I just spent the last four weeks in the midst of a beautiful, miraculous long-distance love affair with a man I love deeply, an old friend from high school.  It was completely unexpected and nothing that I was even remotely looking for– but it was absolutely perfect, right down to the part where he said “I …

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A few days ago I received a directive from the universe.  It was hiding within a small conversation we were having (myself and the universe)–entirely one-sided up until that point.  It went a little something like this:  me:  what is it that i have to do so that you will fully get behind me and support …

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