Among the many realizations I’ve had about myself of late are these two things: 1.) Despite my belief that I am an incredibly open person, I have some pretty massive, fortified walls up around me. And 2.) I have a really hard time trusting women. These two realizations both hit me like a ton of …
journeying with you– always along for the ride my love protecting.
your perfectly unprotected form defenses down, exuding innocence and beauty– the gentle curve of your shoulders– a silent tribute to adolescence and a boy who still peeks out from behind the eyes of a man. the soft rhythmic movement of life rippling through your cells– each one perfectly formed and singing in concert– professing …
i will always keep you safe– wrap you up in unending arms carefully shield you from the demons and monsters who prey upon you in your mind. i will shut the door and lock it tight– closing out those thoughts that leave you desperate and clinging to a structure that is yours to crumble. …
I’ve closed my heart before locked it tightly– buried the key beneath layers of shoulds and coulds and woulds I’ve watched myself walk away treading carefully, moving backwards longing for an explanation some semblance of the truth I’ve understood the sting of rejection– internalized its pointy edges, embracing their lessons along with the …
this is for me. a necessary part of my process this singular narration a weaving of words to give birth to these feelings welling within– unnecessarily contained. The worlds of trust you are teaching with your reticence and fear are miraculous– though not without bruises and bumps– sometimes maybe even a little blood. i know …
i cannot compete with a ghost her hold upon your heart– gut wrenchingly precise. keeping you folded– a neatly stacked pile of protection, save those tiny glimpses of trust. Nor can i measure against a sweet babe, her newness and discovery perfectly prescribed for your carefully crafted vision of lonely. My arms cannot extend past …
We are helping to heal each other you and i traversing this stretch of time, an unwieldy highway, hand in hand. Watching the layers peel away feeling lighter with each small forward step increasingly aware of the young boy peering out from underneath the years of practiced pain– contained because you knew no other way. …
my first born baby you always will be the one who ushered me into this space a clearer, confident identity able to move through the world and keep pace with those who previously hadn’t seen the shy and shrinking girl, now carrying your dynamic beauty along with me the brightness of your eyes and smile …
a simple narrative unwilling to wind its way from my head to hand as i ruminate over the lifetime in days counted across this brief span of time in which my mind was willing to release held constructs– massive monuments to memory carefully created and tended through years, in quiet rooms hidden in attics and …
the edges of myself 