the edges of myself

words, words, words

It’s day two of no tv and thus far no heads have exploded (that I’m aware of). Tonight instead of our usual Thursday night practice of watching American Ninja Warrior together after dinner– we all played a game together. (Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that show– and the ritual of watching it together is …

Continue reading

Today is the first of thirty days of no television for me. I realize this may not seem like a radical proposition to everyone– but television has been my drug of choice for the last several months– as I have slowly weaned myself off of all of my other creature comforts and addictions (namely sugar …

Continue reading

Among the many realizations I’ve had about myself of late are these two things: 1.) Despite my belief that I am an incredibly open person, I have some pretty massive, fortified walls up around me. And 2.) I have a really hard time trusting women. These two realizations both hit me like a ton of …

Continue reading

Yesterday morning I had a hard time pulling myself out of bed. Harder than most Tuesday mornings. I felt heavy. My legs seemed to teeter a bit underneath me as I moved through my early Tuesday morning motions– trying to wake my sleeping beast. Tuesday and Thursday mornings are a unique experience for me. I …

Continue reading

For several years now– too many to count, although it wouldn’t be hard to do, I’ve been silently beating up on myself for not writing. I’ve moved forward in fits and spurts, but they have mostly gone unacknowledged by myself– and somehow I have managed to continue to give myself the consistent message: YOU ARE …

Continue reading

I have a confession to make. I haven’t been consciously withholding this information– but just recently uncovered it somewhere in the depths of my cells. I have spent years being¬†ANGRY. Horribly, Defiantly, ANGRY. At myself. What I have realized is this anger (that I have managed bury to the depths of my being) has been …

Continue reading

moving forward is hard. and standing in one place feels like I’m being shoved backwards. there are days when I want to stay in bed with my head under the covers. or I wish I were my cat. and my strength feels buried under too many layers to access. and it’s easier to acknowledge other …

Continue reading