the edges of myself

words, words, words

our chosen family

mandytigre

4 comments

July 25, 2013

a long anticipated journey undertaken

awakening by the light of the moon–

careful preparations allowing for 

an easy slide from sleep to waking–

the sun whispering her hellos from

underneath the earth’s carpet

as our wheels begin to roll forward

 

an hour along and her golden 

rays are singing– opened fully and 

shedding her light– allowing the brilliant

azure of sky to accompany her 

melodious notes– while her shy sister

of the night lights a full and delicate beacon

across the daylight– daring those 

who are keenly aware to succumb 

to her mesmerizing glow.

 

mists floating off mountains of evergreen

swirling upwards into painted clouds

and down below the infinite stretch of highway

invites our easy glide.

the familiarity of the path– a homecoming– 

our ritual, the yearly dance– met by love

and the ease of our chosen family.

 

a tangle of days– overwhelming and full

asking time to slow– squeezing 

every last drop out of each beautiful instant–

savoring the simple moments– 

a baby’s kiss, playful conversations 

not reliant on words

 

tomorrow another journey begins anew

the first leg of our trip back home

the ties that bind us refreshed and renewed,

reminded, reminiscent, and realized–

stretching tangibly– outlining the space

that separates us– highlighting the truth

that we are always together

there is no distance or space capable 

of coming between the bonds of love.

past the point

mandytigre

no comments

July 24, 2013

the function of time and space

an illusion of separation

the idea that we exist without

one another– impossible

 

my heart inextricably tied

and  bound in beauty and

devotion past this physical

plane of existence– past the

point of human comprehension

 

the madness of imagination

the only logic that allows

sense to be made of the

stark reality of distance.

your willing captive

mandytigre

2 comments

July 22, 2013

your dark and thoughtful eyes

a raging river rushing behind them–

reading your thoughts unconsciously

understanding the language

behind your carefully chosen words.

 

your tongue loosened and unguarded

only when foreign substances

give consent.

you leave me breathless

with your barrage of words–

struggling to hold onto

the smallest pieces of them.

 

tucking them into pockets

packing them away in corners–

to be taken out and poured over

feasted upon by my insecurities–

in the darkened moments.

 

a hidden promise that all is

what it seems–

i am not forging forward alone.

my choices:  to shrink or to expand

your sentiments parceled out to me

like bread crumbs for a bird.

 

i am your overwhelmingly willing captive.

i will sit in a cage of your creation

eternally– observe time passing

and marvel at the wonder of it all–

this life, this expression,

this certainty in myself–

like nothing i’ve ever dreamed

of experiencing.

 

high above the clouds

mandytigre

2 comments

July 20, 2013

the intricate curve of roads unravelling

beneath me– rivers like tendrils

winding to their conclusion– all laid bare

above the clouds– a mysterious floating,

the technology of imagination– harnessed

and exploited past the point of recognition.

 

the mediocrity of humanity surrounding–

the miraculous becomes mundane–

blackens the beauty encapsulating.

sprawling creation down below– routines

and habits, patterns and rules– concrete structures

that validate the ordinary– give hope and

reason where none intrinsically exist.

 

the incessant verse, each person’s contribution

forgotten to be written– its intention swallowed

in the vast societal machine.

children forced into molds in which

they can’t possibly expand to their true potential–

asked to conform, shut down the largest,

most powerful pieces of themselves–

the truest parts, indelible songs of the heart.

 

this is the slow death of invention–

the over-production, destruction of

survival of the fittest– every piece of external

validation– the severing and crushing of

true imagination.

 

and yet, here i sit

crammed into this magnificent work of art,

this brain-child of genius– now reduced

to commercial servitude– sensing the

overwhelming resignation that surrounds me–

 

and i feel nothing but utter wonder at the fact

that i am soaring high above the clouds.

settling into the resonance

mandytigre

2 comments

July 11, 2013

the sound of my boy’s laughter

tumbling across the floors and ceilings

through the hallway and under the door–

the ease of three generations co-existing–

quiet certainty of a love that

has always been and will always be–

from latency a hand on the belly–

small kicks and a waiting game–

breathless anticipation for the first

of your children’s children.

 

time erupts and charges forward

as they grow and change– leaving all

to question how and why we

play this game– this space stretching

endlessly between us– these moments

fleeting and pure– their infrequency

allowing for their immensity–

 

acknowledging that non-linear is the

only piece of the equation that

makes sense– the only part of time that

speaks to my reason.  and in this now

i will settle into the resonance of the

sweet, growing openness of my

first born child’s joy.

softening your senses

mandytigre

4 comments

July 10, 2013

your perfectly unprotected form

defenses down, exuding innocence

and beauty– the gentle curve of

your shoulders– a silent tribute to

adolescence and a boy who still peeks

out from behind the eyes of a man.

 

the soft rhythmic movement of

life rippling through your cells–

each one perfectly formed and

singing in concert– professing their

oneness silently

at the top of their lungs.

 

there is no piece of you

i don’t want to hold– i’d

carefully cradle each individual part–

sing it to sleep and keep it safe–

carry it through the night–

safe from demons and monsters.

 

Hurt

cannot touch you in my arms–

and if it tries– you will not have far

to seek refuge– simply rest

your head back–

and soften your senses

into mine.

slashing through the black

mandytigre

2 comments

July 3, 2013

There are moments when i’m with you–

a smile refusing to release its hold on

the edges of my mouth– my heart

soaring with what can only be my

deepening devotion– when i’m overcome

by the increasing power you hold over me–

though you’ve asked for nothing.

 

I listen to your careful soliloquies

on commitment– knowing the words

before they escape your lips– understanding

the devotion of which you speak– because

it is the only function of love my heart acknowledges.

 

You say no to me over and over again.

I appreciate the solidity of your words–

am grateful to have them to press up against,

but find them piercing.

 

As I continue walking this darkened tunnel–

your words become more biting–

their harshness and tone the same–

but my sensitivity and susceptibility to them

heightened– the darkness becoming its own

sensory deprivation– making my nerves raw,

my edges sharper.

 

i’m carving through this darkening, deafening

space with a razor sharpness I’m unaccustomed to–

allowing for the realization that my heart must

sever from the rest of my being–

i must tumble through this darkness and cut

my way out– slash through the black,

acknowledge that only I can invite in the light–

create a finite space.

 

It frightens me– what I’d do for you.

But right now, I must do

for myself.

 

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