i don’t have to hide
with you. it’s been so long since
all of me has shown.
i don’t have to hide
with you. it’s been so long since
all of me has shown.
because you asked and
you know I deliver–
a limerick for you, my
dear friend, whose
open-armed acceptance of
me as your third wheel is
heart-warmingly beautiful.
You, who serve as a shining
example that love and devotion
are tangible, actual– your love
for your wife palpable,
exuding from you in
purples and blues.
I don’t remember when
we first met– cannot call
to mind a time when you
were not absolutely
familiar to me. Your easy,
amiable way, a gentle arm
around my shoulder– warm
smile and laughing eyes.
At ease in all situations.
You lend me faith
towards things I question,
help me to understand
that anything is possible
with trust and commitment.
You offer an intelligence
that is sensitive and keen.
And you play a mean game
of pinball.
It’s your birthday today
a day to celebrate your
open-hearted kindness,
tumbling laughter
and giving smile.
I remember the day
I first understood the
madness of motherhood–
knew the intensity of
frustration and loss
of control.
And the day it hit
me– like a thousand
waves crashing against
the shore– the immensity
of my love for the tiny
new being cradled
in my arms– the immensity
of your love for me.
In these moments I’ve
understood you as I know
myself– from the inside
out– the one who
went before me– paved
the way– led by example.
Sometimes we make each
other crazy– opposite
sides of the same coin.
But my devotion to
you is timeless, unparalleled
and unquestioned.
You are my mom.
i remembered you yesterday
the boy with a smile he couldn’t
hide– the childish innocence
running through the lines of your face.
like uncovering an old box of
records, full of songs you’d
forgotten existed– but to which
you know all the words.
i remembered falling softly with
you– into arms that seemed they’d
never fail– cushioned by hopes and
dreams as only children can imagine.
i remembered the me who fell with
you through doubt and uncertainty–
the travails of growing up, stepping out,
moving away– walking forward.
i remembered our love that sustained
me through those gentle years of youth–
so quickly eroded and worn away–
just as flowers die and rainbows fade.
but i remember them. i know that they
existed– were not in vain, helped
bring us to this place we now occupy–
wholly separate, but always connected
by these two beautiful beings we created.
his overflowing heart directly
from his father– her flair for the
dramatic, a daily reminder, that
there once was a pure and innocent
love that existed between us– packed
away now– but no longer forgotten.
it’s always perfect
when you leave and equally
sublime when you stay.
i can’t write tonight
my head is heavy, nodding
my body says: SLEEP.
if i could capture my moments
with you in words– they
would sing and sigh and breathe
as no words have ever dared.
if i could call upon all songbirds
to lift their voices in harmony
and encapsulate the elation and joy
flying through my heart, i would.
if i could wrap my wisdom into
a tiny package and deliver it
to myself at the perfect moment–
when doubt and fear are looming
then maybe i’d step out from beneath
my shelter, allow my voice to
soar among the clouds and
personally declare to you my truth.
though words can’t possibly suffice–
and the language of our knowing
reveals a picture that stretches far beyond
what my lips are capable of uttering.
my heart hurts sometimes
acknowledging growth is not
without discomfort
I’ve closed my heart before
locked it tightly– buried the
key beneath layers of
shoulds and coulds and woulds
I’ve watched myself walk away
treading carefully, moving backwards
longing for an explanation
some semblance of the truth
I’ve understood the sting
of rejection– internalized
its pointy edges, embracing
their lessons along with the pain
I’ve walked blindly through years
at a time telling myself
stories I knew were untrue
to support a growing construct
I’ve isolated myself out of
necessity– shouldering my
burdens and tumbling forward
with an unquestioned resolve
I’ve conceived of a love like
the one that I’m sensing– its
fluid lines and unguarded circles–
its quiet devotion– an unstated truth
I’ve opened my heart to you
like no other– without agenda
understanding that time exists
to live within each moment
I’ve uncovered a strength and
solidity I’d only heard whisper
before you entered and showed me
sometimes it’s okay to shout
You are infinite.
You offer the universe
What no one else can.